Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Revenge For Bicyclists: Handlebar Key Plugs

from geekologie.com

Are you a bicyclist that's tired of being cut off and hit by cars? Well get a pair of these handlebar key plugs and you can at least deface the perpetrator's car in the process of getting run over.

These modified handlebar plugs speak to the disgruntled urban cyclist. By retro-fitting stock parts with up-cycled keys, bikers can now find satisfaction with close encounters. This concept puts a new twist on the timeless tradition of car-keying revenge. By Matt Braun and Jared Delorenzo.

They cost $5 for a set of two and fit snugly into regular handlebars and assholes. But in all honesty, if I catch you keying my car I can and will kill you. I'm serious -- if you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.


Sowrong Soright said...

Five dollars for your life yo! FINALLY! A viable revenge solution to stupidity?

Yes, let these little darlings help you fight street injustice they pare nicely with your jacked up adrenaline courage. No one will be the wiser.

Oh those silly cars will regret the day they messed with you and...didn't kill you when they had the chance.

But, just think. Now they have a new reason to live. It's no longer just Roll Tide and Sunday supper after church. These little liberators will allow us all to bare witness to the revitalized life purpose of many a dreary, brain washed, materialistic mind. That purpose...to track you down and fuck you up good next time!

Can you smell the love, the commitment! Oh, yes burnt rubber and sun dried blood...how special.

I am really feeling it now. I know it's wrong, but I feel I might need to go key myself. All the anticipation, all the suspense, it all just too much.

What a fabulous invention. Great stocking suffers for next Christmas too.

What will they think of next. Perhaps a smart little electric riding crop that can zap drivers directly...like in the face. That would be a really fun tool to...Is it too Pavlovian?

Anyway, we could call it the Whiptazzer Car Driver Amazer. We just stun and go when pep's be trippin' on bikes in their cars. A little more costly, but oh so worth it!

Oh goodness, I am getting excited again!

Tyler said...

i want these

Anonymous said...

Me too. I want both, I especially like the zapping crop idea. I'd love to ride around all spring and summer just taze, taze, tazing, any person on a cell phone...in their face, all while keying the fuck out of their car and blasting SLAYER!