Sunday, August 26, 2007

Assholes in cars


Sometimes when I am just sick and tired of getting honked and yelled at by inconsiderate mindless neanderthals on the road I figure that I will head for the safety and security of the mountains to enjoy a bit of trail riding. So, after I got off of work today I decided to go montain biking and get a bit of a workout. My ride was absolutely fantastic until I was on my way down the mountain on Bankhead Parkway when a car full of spineless, fecal matter eating, uneducated pricks decided they would get a quick laugh by throwing a full, not to mention huge, drink at me while I was going about 38 mph downhill. If the drink would have hit me I would have easily been knocked off my bike and either seriously injured or killed. As soon as it all happened I took off after the car without thinking and as soon as I caught up the car and they realized that I wasn't going to just let the whole thing go, the C#CK flogging candy-ass pricks sped off instead of getting out and confronting me, which just goes to show that people are much more brave in a car than they are face to face. So just a reminder to not let anyone in a car intimidate you! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND SHOW WHOSE REALLY BRAVE!

Burn Fat Not Fuel
Matt B.

7 comments:

Bello Velo said...

It would be safe to say we can link stupidity to 64 oz. fountain drinks loaded with hight fructose corn syrup.

Fuck fountain drinks!

jim

inc123 said...

Did you get the license? I would report the pricks-- Chief Rex Reynolds (Safety Chief) will do something.. i know, nobody likes calling the cops, by he, they started it... and you could have been killed/maimed.

clintpatty said...

That sucks man. Getting the plate # is pretty hard usually, especially going down a mountain. If you catch up with them, go for it, though. I had a cup of ice thrown at me at night downtown (going slower than Matt) and couldn't get the plate even when I shined my light on it. I was catching up but they ran 3 red lights making cross traffic stop at 1 and got away from me.

I'd like to have a taser partially for situations like that if I do catch up and they try to pull something. Also, if you start riding with a gun, you could shoot their tire out if they actually hit you. Who is going to try to go back and get you when they know that you shot their tire out, and one of the nice things about bikes is getting away and hiding.

Anonymous said...

sometimes, i stick to the grid-laiden downtown areas. there's always a red light to allow you to catch up to the steakheads. they're easy to spot at night, too... popped collar, a filthy hat, probably something of the alabama/auburn persuasion. you can just slap their mirrors as you drift on by.

clintpatty said...

btw Matt, some freshmen hockey players have started stealing bikes around campus, so be careful. So far I haven't heard of them stealing components, and I don't think they have power tools or tools for breaking u locks.

Anonymous said...

yeah, apparently kurt russell's son plays hockey there now. i'd probably let the love child of snake pliskin and goldie hawn steal my bike.

Anonymous said...

find the culprits and rip their nuts off, leave them to dry and shrivel in the sack, chrome plated them and attach them to the backs of our bikes just like those rednecks in those big trucks do roun' hear.

yeeeeah! Anyone up for some good honest tire iron swinging? Target SUV taillights.

c'mon vandalisms cool, yeah, come on, yeah thats it...mmmhmmm..you can do it okay now say it with me: Vandalism is God's way of backslappin' da bitches" okay yeah...now grab your friens and some blunt objects and lets do it London style!

Los Cruces Da Vuelta